As we all know, many people in our country suffer from obesity and significant health problems. It is interesting to explore this in terms of intention.

When a person eats too much or eats junk, the intention is to control. The person is using food to suppress pain, to have control over not feeling painful emotions.

Wounded Self: Control Over Avoiding Emotional Pain

While most people would say that their health is important to them, and might even say that without their health they have nothing, often something else is even more important: having control to avoid emotional pain.

Health problems can certainly stem from a variety of causes other than substance abuse, such as heredity, extreme childhood abuse, polluted air, or accidents. But chronic and degenerative diseases, such as cancer, heart disease, diabetes and autoimmune diseases, are often the result of food, nicotine, drug or alcohol abuse.

If a person says they want to be healthy, but continues to eat poorly, drink too much, smoke, or take dangerous drugs, then obviously the part of this person that is in charge of their choices is more interested in avoiding feelings than in being healthy.

Our wounded selves are always more interested in avoiding pain than loving self-care. This is what the wounded self is: the part of us that wants to have control over feeling safe from pain. One of the reasons we have such a high rate of obesity and chronic health problems is that, for most people, the wounded self is in charge.

I was a sickly child and I hated being sick. When I was in my early twenties, I discovered the topic of nutrition and started trying to eat in a very healthy way. But because I didn’t have a loving adult in charge of my nutrition, eating right was a big challenge. I wrote down everything I ate in hopes of curbing my sugar and carb addiction. I would go from one diet to another in hopes of losing weight and staying slim. I went from weight doctor to weight doctor to find the magic pill that would give me control over my weight and my health. I ate well for a while, and suddenly I was bingeing on sugar and junk food. I just couldn’t find the willpower to consistently eat well.

Beyond willpower to true power

This continued for years, until the Spirit brought us Inner Work and I began to develop my loving adult. I now know that a consistent and devoted practice of Inner Bonding will eventually develop a loving adult who truly cares more about health than avoiding pain. I now know that learning to manage and learn from painful feelings is the key to weight loss and health.

It’s not about willpower. The wounded self strives for control by exerting willpower, but it always fails in the end. It is about true power: the power of your higher self that arises when you have a deep intention to learn about what creates health and well-being.

Each of us needs to decide what is more important: avoiding pain through our various addictions or striving for excellent health. When you make the deep decision that creating a healthy body for your beautiful essence to live in is of vital importance to you, you will discover the power that comes from Spirit, the power that allows you to give up substance addictions, eat clean and healthy foods. and exercise every day.

Now ask yourself what is more important to you: avoiding pain or creating excellent health? If you continue with your substance addictions, you may want to explore why avoiding pain is more important than health and wellness.