Operator: Thank you for calling this pizzeria. I can have your…
Customer: Hello, can I place an order…
Operator: Can I have your multipurpose card number first, sir?
Client: It’s uh…, wait………. on……889861356102049998-45-54610.
Operator: OK… you are… Mr. Singh and you are calling from Bur Dubai. Your home number is xxx, your office number is yyy, and your mobile is zzz. What number are you calling from now, sir?
Client: Home! How did you get all my phone numbers?
Operator: We are connected to a system, sir.
Customer: Can I order your Seafood Pizza?
Operator: That’s not a good idea, sir.
Client: How come?
Operator: According to your medical records, you have high blood pressure and an even higher cholesterol level, sir.
Client: What?… What do you recommend then?
Operator: Try our low-fat Hokkien Mee pizza. It will like you.
Client: How do you know for sure?
Operator: You borrowed a book titled “Folk Hokkien Dishes” from the National Library last week, sir.
Customer: Ok, I give up…Give me three family size then. How much will it cost?”
Operator: That should be enough for your family of 10, sir. The total is 150 dirhams, sir.
Customer: Can I pay before! credit card?
Operator: I’m afraid you have to pay us in cash, sir. His credit card has exceeded the limit and he owes his bank 3,720.55 dirhams since October last year. That doesn’t include late fees on your home loan, sir.
Customer: I guess I have to run to the neighborhood ATM and get some cash before your guy gets here.
Operator: You can’t, sir. According to the records, you have reached your daily machine withdrawal limit today.
Client: It doesn’t matter. Just send the pizzas over, I’ll have the cash ready. How long is it going to take anyway?
Operator: About 45 minutes sir, but if you can’t wait you can always come and pick it up on your motorbike.
Client: What!
Operator: According to the details in the system, you own a scooter,…registration number…
Client: Okay, okay!
Operator: Is there anything else, sir?
Client: Nothing… by the way… aren’t you going to give me the three free bottles of cola that they advertise?
Operator: Normally we would, sir, but according to your records, you are also a diabetic.
Customer: #$$^%&$@$%^
Operator: Better watch your language, sir. Do you remember that on July 10, 1997, he was convicted of using abusive language against a police officer…?