Losing a loved one brings with it so many challenges and feats of daily survival, but I believe that for most people who are grieving, this day tips the scales when it comes to facing one of the greatest challenges of grief.
The day of the anniversary of the death of a loved one brings you face to face with reality. His physical presence is gone and it becomes a very painful reminder of his loss. It marks the moment when life as you knew it changed forever and for many approaching that fateful date it can be an almost overwhelming and overwhelming experience.
For many, this “approach” can range from months to weeks before the day itself. It slowly builds up to a crescendo. The calendar is the first reminder of what awaits you. As the date approaches, fear begins to oppress your heart with the awakening of each new dawn. Next to join is the horrendous thunder of thoughts running wild through your mind. being the forerunners “I’m dreading it” Y “How am I going to cope?” Naturally your anxiety levels are rising like a thermometer on a hot summer day and you wish you could go to sleep and wake up when it’s all over!
For many of you it is an intensely painful experience. It was for me too, but now the pain of my wrong has turned into something else. Yes, there are still tears. Yes, there is the lack and the longing to touch what I cannot feel. But it is a day where now my sadness has become sacred.
If I were to describe a holy anniversary day to you, it would be like this:
– A day dedicated entirely to your loved one and reserved wholeheartedly for him.
– A day dedicated to remembrance and connection, based on the unique bond and love you have and will always share.
– A day when you give yourself immunity to the pressures of the everyday world.
– A day pertaining to comfort, sweetness and self-pity.
– A day when you recognize the power you have by having lived the previous year through your loss.
– A day that honors what your loved one has brought to your life. Who you are and who you are yet to be as a result of your love and experience.
There are many ways you can plan this day in a way that feels right to you and in a way that honors the unique relationship you shared.