When you ask lesbian women why they prefer to sleep with women and not men, you can get a variety of reasons, but one of them immediately stands out: women know how to touch a woman. Apparently, most men don’t.

Early in my career, I decided to explore the subject and learn what women know that we don’t. He wanted to know everything about touch. Not just any touch, mind you, a sensual touch. I have seen many guides and how-to videos on sensual massage over the years, and they all seemed somewhat inadequate. They were very “massage”, and not very “sexy”.

It wasn’t until I attended a Tantra seminar, with a Russian teacher (A Russian? Teaching Tantra? Who knew?), that I understood what sensual massage is really about.

The style of touch that I have adopted since then is something I call non-massage, because it looks like a massage, but it really isn’t. It’s a sensual connection and pleasure system, and the fact that some movements can resemble a massage is really a coincidence.

Most women have never been touched in this way, and the response their bodies generate can be impressive. Many women told me that they never knew that their bodies can react this way; they didn’t think they had it in them.

In the following paragraphs I will try to explain my philosophy of touch and give some practical tips to do it. Don’t worry if it seems a bit esoteric or abstract at first. My goal is to first show you the right mindset and then turn it into a practical tool for pleasure.

The rules of no-massage

There are four main differences that set no-massage apart from any massage you’ve come across before:

No-Massage Rule #1 – No body parts

Massage tends to dictate how to properly work each body part and which body parts to use for each stroke.

In non-massage, there is no division between good body parts vs. bad body parts There are no body parts that bore you vs. body parts you really want to touch. There are no body parts that are appropriate vs. body parts to avoid

There is only one complete and magnificent body in front of you, and you touch it all without discrimination. The knee is as attractive as the neck, and the nipple is as appropriate as the shoulder.

Everything is amazing, and everything is erogenous.

No-Massage Rule #2 – No Roles

Massage tends to define the roles of giver and receiver: one person aims to provide pleasure to another and the other does nothing.

In non-massage there is no division between the person who gives pleasure and the one who receives it. You both do it to enjoy your bodies to the fullest, and therefore you should enjoy it together, simultaneously, without having to take turns.

This also means that the “no body parts” rule applies to both: one body is used to touch another body and provide pleasure to both. Hair touching skin, skin touching hair, warm breath sliding over wet skin…it’s all fair game.

Partners can forget about their “roles” and just enjoy every pleasure that the moment brings. They form a pleasure system, an energy center and a mind during the session.

No-Massage Rule #3 – No Skin

The silent water runs deep. If you like to touch the skin, you will reach the skin; if you aim to massage the muscle enclosed by the skin, you will hit the muscle.

But if you want to reach the soul, your touch must be much, much more subtle than that. You need to barely feel the surface, get close but not quite, and slowly and gently move a little closer… the softer your touch, the deeper it will penetrate, until your partner feels that the skin and muscles are gone. It isn’t even there, and your touch penetrates through all the layers and goes right to its core.

A truly deep touch can create sensations in the nerves that have nothing to do with the skin or muscles; they are not close to the surface, but you can still reach them with enough smoothness and intention. Just imagine that your hand (or anything else really) can dissolve and go through objects and reach them. you will feel it

PS This may be obvious, but it’s worth mentioning anyway: One layer you can’t penetrate is fabric, so it’s always best to massage the person and not their clothing. Ideally, both of you should be completely naked; anything else can still be pleasurable, but not as deep.

No-Massage Rule #4 – No time

Massage tends to have a start time and end time, several stages, and a relatively even amount of time spent on each part of the body.

In non-massage we already know that there are no body parts, but I would also like to suggest that time does not matter. You start when you feel like playing and you end when you feel like moving on to something else. Between these two points, you do everything as slowly as possible, since there is no set number of actions you need to complete. As a general rule of thumb, whatever your intuition tells you to do, do it four times slower and four times softer.

There is no goal to aspire to, no goal to reach. Both partners just do what they feel like doing at any given time and watch their feelings. Imagine looking at the point of contact between the two bodies from the inside, looking up from under the skin; feel the touch of a body penetrating deeply into another body, feel the heat at the point of contact.

That’s all about it.

How to do it

There really is no “right” way to touch another person, but my experience has taught me that soft, slow, and intentional touching attracts the vast majority of women.

Sometimes I tell them what I’m doing and why I’m doing it that way, and other times I don’t, I just close my eyes and play. It really depends on the comfort level of the woman.

I start with my hands until I feel she is comfortable enough, then move on to using my forearms, hair, breath, chest and other parts. I always touch his body at several points at the same time (for example, two hands, one hand and one forearm, one hand and the hair, etc.), and I move with very slow, very smooth and continuous movements, trying to turn everything the movement in ONE. long stroke, and not a sequence of separate strokes.

Although the rule says no body parts, realistically, if the woman isn’t used to the way you touch her, it’s best to do it slowly and not do anything that makes her hesitant or self-conscious from the start.

Go slow and gradually work your way into bolder areas, tapping lightly at first. For example, before placing your entire hand on your entire breast, first slide one finger along the side or under, from shoulder to hip; then, a few seconds later, slide two fingers over the surface, etc.; each time will be a little more daring than the last, so your subconscious mind will not feel that what happened was unusually inappropriate.

Once you’ve “gained access” to your entire body, it becomes especially crucial to forget your own preferences and avoid spending all your time near your sexual organs. Every time you generate some “heat” in these standard erogenous zones, slowly slide it to other areas of her body.

This hack will accomplish several things:

1. Everyone likes her sexual organs, but you show appreciation for her whole body. It makes her feel special and it makes you special for cultivating this feeling.

2. The heat you generate does not disappear and does not stay in one place. Alternating between more and less erogenous zones will move the sensation throughout your body and make your entire body erogenous. Soon you’ll be hearing sounds of pleasure even when you touch her hipbone or elbow, parts she’s definitely never considered erogenous before.

3. Help dissolve his attention and let him really feel your touch. If you only touch the standard points, your mind can wander and start thinking about irrelevant things like “Do I look good?” or “Am I making the sounds he expects me to make?” When you move sensations through a greater variety of areas, and especially through areas where you have never experienced them before, it overwhelms your senses and draws your attention away from thoughts and back to your body and its sensations.

If you follow these guidelines and experiment every chance you get, this style of playing will soon become very second nature, and the positive feedback you’ll receive will most likely be overwhelming.

No one else plays like that. It is now our professional secret.