I celebrated a birthday yesterday, and with another year came a comforting realization for someone who has been through a lot of soul-draining pain in the last two years.
Joy is a renewable resource.
When, for months, you’ve been cramming four people (including three giants) into an old two-door vehicle so small they can all rest their chins on their knees…
When you, your diabetic spouse, and your two children have been without health insurance for two years…
When you have had to sell your house and rent it back, only to have to deal with the “noisy kids, park in the middle of the driveway so we can’t get in or out, won’t help with the shovel” downstairs neighbor…
When you have become an expert in the art of attending the funerals of your loved ones…
when have you been “so messed up i can’t even pay attention” for so long that the joke isn’t even funny anymore…
When the ministry that has been placed in your family has been languishing, while you waited for your gift to make room for you, to so time that begins to sour like spoiled milk…
When the days of this have turned into weeks, the weeks have turned into months, and the months have turned into years…
You really wonder if the promised land, the brightest day, the deliverance, the breakthrough, Elim, will ever come, or if the darkness is just your destiny.
You wonder if by the time things start to get better, you’ll be too battered, worn out, and bitter to care anymore.
You wonder if you’ll ever get your joy back.
You wonder if God’s promise in Joel to restore the years that the locusts have eaten really applies to you.
Well you may not be wondering but me made.
happiness depends on events. If nothing good happens, you cannot be happy. Joy is not found in us and does not depend on circumstances. It is found in Christ. The fact is that He saved us, He will keep and sustain us, and when it is all over, we will live and reign with Him forever. That event never changes, so our joy never has to end.
But sometimes the constant barrage of painful circumstances and seemingly endless trials can cause us to lose the joy. I know he did it for me. I got to a place in my life where I said “God, I’m going to sleep now. You would do me a favor if you didn’t wake me up tomorrow, because life hurts too much.”
But things are looking up now. At last, we see a light at the end of the tunnel. And this is where I re-insert my statement.
Joy is a renewable resource.
It is not because I read it in a profound book, or heard it say from a powerful speaker that I know it to be true. I know because I have been to the dry, dead place where there seemed to be no hope or help, and I came back.
And God gave me back my joy.
That is the key. God gave it to me. We cannot manufacture it ourselves. If we try to exude happiness at all times, even when we are in deep pain, we will end up being a terrifying Christian version of stepford wives. Everything seems perfect on the outside, but inside, something is terribly wrong.
True joy is renewed in us by the Lord. He is the only one who can dry the tears from our eyes and give us beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and the mantle of praise instead of the spirit of sorrow.
He can and He will. How do I know, you ask?
Because even though we’re starting to see favor and blessings again, we still don’t have insurance, we’re still packed like sardines in that too-small vehicle, we still rent, and we’re still broke.
Yet here I am with my joy.
(c)Abby Phillips2008