Are you tired of your life being the same, day after day, year after year? So you need to find the answer to this question. Most people have no real idea of ​​what they want or how to get it.

I have missed many opportunities in my life because I did not know the answer and did not take steps to change my future. One of the biggest mistakes I made was turning down a full scholarship to attend college. Years later when I had a similar opportunity to teach at a local business school. One of the advantages was attending free classes and again I declined. I had been given a second chance to make up for the biggest mistake of my life and I didn’t take it. I was full of doubts and lack of confidence, but also something bigger, fear of failure.

Does it sound familiar to you? Have you ever had that golden opportunity presented to you that you knew you wanted, but didn’t take? What stopped you Who were you afraid of letting down, your family or yourself?

Growing up, my dad had two sayings. “Better the devil you know than the one you don’t know” and “The grass is always greener on the other side, until you arrive.” What this told me is don’t risk it. Like most baby boomers, our parents grew up during depression. His generation stayed in the same job until they retired and were grateful to have a job. They believed it was better to stay where you were, with what was safe and familiar, than risk the unknown. They put aside their hopes and dreams to support their families.

This instilled in many of us the message that we should not aspire to more. We should be content to have a roof over our heads, food on the table, and pay our bills. I wanted more. He had hopes, dreams, and a desire for a better life. I didn’t want to teach my children to accept mediocrity. Did he want them to reach for the stars and not let anything get in their way? I couldn’t do that unless I became an example and the change I wanted to see. How was he to know what he was capable of if he never tried? It might fail, but what if it didn’t? Still, it took me years to get over this.

It wasn’t until I was 50 that I discovered something. He was not afraid of failure, he was afraid of success. I got so used to the status quo, I didn’t know what I would do if I really succeeded. How would my life change? Was he ready for that? Would I know what to do? He knew how to fight, but if he succeeded, could he do it? Could I become a leader or could people see through me and realize that I am a phony? I didn’t know, but suddenly I knew I had to try.

More than half of my life was over and I hadn’t really accomplished anything. I was no further ahead than when I graduated. My life did not turn out as planned. I felt like I had been sleepwalking with no idea where I was going or why. It was a major turning point for me. I finally discovered the person I was meant to be. I stopped caring about what others thought or how they perceived me. It was what he thought mattered. He had dreams and goals and was determined to achieve them. I knew that if my life was going to change, I had to. If so, it’s up to me became my mantra.

Life took on a new meaning. I decided that fear would no longer prevent me from experiencing joy in my life. He didn’t want to just exist. I wanted a life full of passion, happiness, success and freedom. I wanted to try things that I had never done before. I wanted to have fun!

I got a chance to try this when my daughter invited me to dinner at a little pub. He asked me if I had ever played pool. I said no and that I had no intention of starting now. She knew my fear of being in front of people and trying new things. Then I remembered the promise I made to myself. I wouldn’t let fear stop me anymore. Feeling very subconscious, I walked over to the pool table and let my daughter proceed to teach me how to play. I even let our server give me some advice. And the most amazing thing happened. I beat him the first two games. I felt like I had won the lottery. It wasn’t because I had won, but because I was out of my comfort zone and I tried. I had also taught my daughter a valuable life lesson:“It is never too late to become what it could have been.”
~~ George Eliot

This new confidence inspired me to do something else that I hadn’t tried before. I attended a convention alone, where I knew I would not meet anyone. A little hesitant, I walked into the room, sat down, and started a conversation with the person next to me. Later that night, I introduced myself to a girl who was alone and we spent the rest of that night and most of the convention together. I found myself reaching out to more people and starting conversations. My fears of being rejected were unfounded. People responded to my openness and honesty and I made new friends in the process. I was so excited. Every time I stepped out of my comfort zone, my confidence increased.

I realized how thoughts or words, whether positive or negative, have in our lives when we hear them over and over again. They have the power to shape the person we become. Like a song you’ve heard and can’t get out of your mind for days, negative thoughts can affect us in the same way.

Studies show what you focus on the most, what you move towards. If you focus on all the negative aspects of your life, you will attract more of the same. These thoughts eventually become a habit. You start to believe in them and your life becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. This is why affirmations are so powerful. They work the same way. Focus on positive thoughts and you will get positive results. People are attracted to those who believe in themselves.

Here is one of my favorite quotes:

Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Use your words carefully; they become actions.
Look at your actions; they become habits.
Take care of your clothes; they become character.
Look at your character; becomes your destiny.
~~ Outlaw Frank

Decide now what you want. Where do you see yourself in 5, 10 or 20 years if you keep doing the same things? When you have an opportunity or a challenge, ask yourself a few questions. What will happen if I do not take any action? What will be the result? Well, most likely nothing will change. You will be stuck at your job, have a hard time paying your bills, or live in fear. Now ask yourself what will happen if you take that risk. You can find a job you like, earn more money, or spend more time with your family. Which of these scenarios appeals to you the most? You have a choice. The actions you take or don’t take next will determine the course of your future.

Deciding what you want is your first step. Once you know that, make a plan and know your WHY. Without having a clear focus as to what you want to achieve, it will be just a wish. Then visualize it. Look at it, feel it, as if you’ve already made it. Visualization is very powerful. If you see it and believe it, your mind will find a way to make it happen. Now put your thoughts into action.

There is more I want to learn and experience and I am up for the challenge. I hope you too. There is a saying, “the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” Are you ready to take it? But, What’s stopping you?