Whose life are you living… and passing? Have you ever looked at your life and wondered, “How did I get here?”I think at one time or another we’ve all had a moment like this. I know what I have

I attended recently “Be the change” conference in Orlando, Florida organized by renowned business coach Suzanne Evans. As part of the three-day event, we had the privilege of hearing from an incredible woman, Maggie Ostara, PhD. of “Soul Signature Marketing”speak. Ms. Ostara has a Ph.D. in Literature and she was a professor at Columbia University for many years, but recently switched gears to create her company as a soul healer and marketing expert.

If you’re anything like me, you’re scratching your head trying to figure out how such a jump could happen! When Mrs. Ostara started her talk, she answered that question almost immediately.

He explained that his father had been a teacher, his grandfather had been a teacher, and I think he also said that an uncle had been a teacher. Being an educator was her “daily life bread”. In other words, it was the message that she received from her during her childhood through spoken and unspoken offers that led her to automatically enter a career that she eventually looked at and recognized that although she had reached the accepted level of “success”, she was not happy with.

As Maggie continued her talk, she clearly connected the dots so that everyone could understand the logic of why she became a teacher…she had been. “Transmitted”. His goal was not for us to examine the how of what had happened in his life and happens frequently in many of our lives, but to focus on the incredible life he is now living doing what he loves and is passionate about. Her goal was to share the success she has found doing something that was totally foreign to her and to share with all of us in her audience how we can market our businesses from a soul centered place.

Although I was very interested in his topic and his approach to marketing, I must confess that I immediately connected not with his marketing message but with “his story”. I was struck by the fact that what I was witnessing was another obviously well-educated brilliant person who found herself as an adult who needed to let go of limiting ideas and beliefs in order to live a life of true happiness based on doing what she loved and was passionate about. on.

It is true that I do not know Maggie’s parents, nor did she specifically say, however, I am confident in assuming that Maggie was raised without any deliberate attention being paid to what attracted her… without any conscious effort put into guiding Maggie to find its passionexplore its preferences or encourages her to review your choices to determine its heart’s desire.

This purposeful conscious effort is what is critical to raising children to be and live the lives they were meant to create. The awareness of this is a crucial part of the role that a father has in the lives of his children.

My mother was a seamstress and dressmaker by profession. I did not share her love of sewing. She loved making our clothes…everything from summer shirts and shorts to my brother’s 3 piece Easter outfits and dresses with matching coats for the girls. I never showed any interest in sewing. My mother taught me the basics, sew a hem or a button or replace a zipper, but that was it.

When I got to high school and had Home Economics as a required course, the teacher had very high expectations of me because of my mother’s profession. When I didn’t meet his standards, he called a meeting with my mom and me to find out what was “wrong.”

I distinctly remember my mother explaining to my teacher that she and I were very close but had different interests. She summed it up in one sentence that was one of those defining moments that stays with you for the rest of your life.

mother said, “I have five children, they all deserve to be seen as individuals and their likes and dislikes have nothing to do with what their father and I like.”

So when I hear stories of people who have found themselves in situations like Maggie, a clearly intelligent woman from an obviously amazing family, I know the real difference is awareness. Awareness on the part of parents that they can and should make a conscious effort to guide their children to make their decisions based only on what is agreeable and pleasurable to them rather than blindly falling into place, automatically choosing what they see as their parents choose.

Parents occupy a position in their children’s lives as the main source of information on the ideas, thoughts and beliefs that they formulate and assume as their own. Parents must guide their children to reflect on their choices… to get in touch with what they prefer.

This can be done very simply. It is first about seeing her child as an individual and second about honoring her individuality and respecting her by offering her the opportunity to choose.

Let’s examine the process by looking at one of the basic areas of preference for all of us… food.

At as young an age as possible, you can start engaging them in conversations about their likes and dislikes, showing interest in theirs and sharing yours. The important thing is to convey to them that the differences are exciting and interesting.

For example, I remember one day when my daughter, Cally, was about 2 or 3 years old. she old and we had been shopping most of the day. I decided to stop at an ice cream parlor on the way home. When I told the waitress what she wanted, Cally quickly said, “I also!” The waitress smiled and said “Okay, that’s going to be TWO hot fudge sundaes with vanilla ice cream, pecans, and whipped cream!”

I took a moment and explained to Cally that she could have her ice cream any way she wanted…it didn’t have to be the same as mine. I went through the menu of the different toppings and flavors of ice cream and encouraged her to order whatever she wanted. (She chose strawberry ice cream with pineapple topping, whipped cream but no nuts!)

Although this may seem very small in the larger scope of things, the point is that by giving her a choice at a young age as to what kind of ice cream she wanted rather than allowing her to simply mimic my choice, she got the message that she had a right. to choose what she wanted and would be respected. It reinforced her view of herself as an individual.

Once this process is repeated several times and applied to areas of greater importance in their lives, children quickly gain an understanding of and value their sense of self. Eventually, they won’t need to be asked to examine their own feelings and thoughts when making a decision, it will become automatic.

They will naturally come to understand that they have:

• the power to choose
• the right to be a unique individual
• a sense of personal responsibility for their choices
• a sense of personal responsibility for what happens in their lives

As a child grows and develops with a valued sense of their individuality, they will form a solid foundation of healthy self-esteem, positive self-image, and self-confidence. And by doing so, he will instill in them an understanding of their personal responsibility for what happens in their lives.