An explosion wakes me up. I open my eyes to total darkness, all my spider senses on high alert, everything is silent and the darkness is thick. The sound of clouds rumbling in the sky above followed by a few in the distance. When suddenly the clouds collide emitting a colossal blast of thunder that shatters across the night sky, shaking the building threatening to shatter the glass. The thunder ignites a spark of lightning in seconds, simulating a camera flash, lighting up the room.
The time is early 5:33 to be exact. the thunderous sound has woken me up early. As I get my bearings, I’m surprised by the lack of stun. As I stand up, I continue to reflect on the fact that I am fully alert and fully aware, almost eager to start my day. The slightest hint of wanting to go back to bed has disappeared. As I pull back the curtain to examine the activity in the night sky. I wonder if it is the beginning of tornado season or if the clouds are challenging each other in a similar way to the clash of horns that occurs between mountain rams.
Now it’s time to start my smooth morning chaos that awaits me before I start the day. As I manage to get to the kitchen thinking about the wonderful coffee that is being prepared. Soon it will run through my veins. As I fill my cup of coffee with a little more than usual, I think to myself that this should be enough to get me through the rough morning. As I walk back to the bathroom, I unconsciously dodge the corner of the bedroom door frame, the one my little toe eagerly awaits every morning.
Outside the rain plays its rhythmic sound. In what seems like hundreds of little drums. After wiping down the bathroom counter, I lazily glance at my reflection in the mirror in front of me. A soft voice in my head whispers to me let’s get rid of those whiskers that slowly appeared during the long hours of sleep last night. For a moment I wonder what I would look like with a full beard and as quickly as my heart skips a beat, the thought is gone. I examine my facial hair and collect my thoughts. Now it’s time for my shower and then my shave.
After the shower, I instinctively run my finger across the steamy mirror. A victim of the shower fog. I remember a friend telling me about a remedy for a foggy mirror. He suggests that he spray shaving cream on a clean cloth and rub the shaving cream on the mirror and then wipe it off. I think I’ll try. How do I apply questionable information to my friends? There is no particular pattern in my method. Before me, my reflection in the mirror begins to come together like a puzzle.
As the steam slowly moves away. I spend the next few minutes admiring the cleanliness of my mirror. As hard as I try, I can’t help but be proud of myself. I leaned in to get a better look. The thought of your remedy working left me with a comforting longing for tomorrow morning’s results.
As I rinse my mouth and toothbrush before putting it away, I find myself admiring the cleanliness of the mirror once again. Now to my shave. I remember my younger days when I didn’t have to shave and think it will be years before I do. How nice it was to have a face as smooth as ice. The alarm clock next to my bed with big blue numbers tells me I have plenty of time to turn this scruffy face into something new.
In the distance, the sound of soft rain hitting the ground mixes with a song coming from my clock radio. As I apply pre-shave oil to my hairy face, I can still feel the warmth of my skin. The frogs are sure to enjoy this rainy day, sadly the same cannot be said for those poor birds in the wet trees.
I can feel the pre shave oil starting to work. I love these things! it works, it really does. softens my skin, softens my dry coarse facial hair so my razor cuts through them cleanly like little sticks of licorice candy. It’s a wonderful thing when my hair falls out with buttery ease as the razor slides across my face and I love the smell of this stuff. Now a splash of one of my many favorite shaving creams. Yes, I said many. The women collect shoes and handbags and I collect shaving oils, creams and razors.
Who would have known how much more pleasant my shave would be? the day I stopped fighting the warm feeling of a new purchase and indulged myself by adding some good razors to the mix. Gone are my days of struggling with unruly hair. I wonder if James Bond had more than one razor in his shaving kit.
As I apply a cool mint shaving cream enriched with jojoba and vitamin E. My skin savors the tingling sensation this product gives off. Now to choose a razor. I take a moment and reflect on the options before me. What am I in the mood for, let’s see? Do I use my “Gillette Blue Tip” or will it be my “Super Shave razor” or how about my trusty “Merkur” and let’s not forget my “Classic Gold Weishi” Ahh, then there’s my polished “Erbe” Made in Solingen Germany.
Next comes maneuvering the razor along those prickly hairs with the precession of a skilled barber. I slide my knife hard enough to scrape a peach but smooth enough to scrape a balloon. Gliding along the jawline with the grain helps to avoid any pain from shaving. In just minutes the transformation is complete. The result is a new, polished look. There are no spines that feel alive and renewed. once again my skin is at its best. I splashed a bit of plain water to rinse my skin before grabbing the towel. Now it’s time for some lotion to finish off my fresh shave and leave my skin feeling smooth. In just minutes my beard was gone and now I’m ready to face the day.