Divorce affects many people in our society, and it is a huge life transition that must be handled with sensitivity and an understanding of how traumatic it can be. You are changing your life in a myriad of ways, from your living arrangements to the time you spend with your children, finances, and intimacy. You are changing your ideal, your vision of how you expected your life to be. While this can be a difficult and overwhelming time, it is also an opportunity for tremendous growth and development for you as an individual, and it can push you to really evaluate what you want out of life. Here are the last 3 of 6 steps to start over from the divorce in a positive way:

1. Don’t be afraid to seek professional help. If your feelings become overwhelming and you’re having trouble coping on a day-to-day basis, don’t be afraid to seek professional help from a counselor or therapist who can provide unbiased and professional feedback. If you feel like you lack clarity about the future and where you want to go, you may want to work with a coach to help you identify your priorities and create the steps to make your goals a reality.

2. Release negative thoughts. If anger or negativity is holding you back, first allow yourself to feel the negative emotions in full force. Imagine the image that makes you angry or upset. Then make a conscious decision to let go of this anger and free yourself from carrying a burden that impacts you emotionally and physically. If you are angry with a person, consider the possibility that they did the best they could with the tools they had to work and survive. Some people’s coping mechanisms cause harm to others, but it may be the best they know how to do. Know that you are exactly where you need to be, right now, at this very moment. Imagine releasing the person you have anger with and any negative thoughts in the universe. You are no longer responsible for them or the results of those people or concepts: enjoy the liberation. Start to visualize all the benefits that could come from your experience.

3. Start fantasizing and daydreaming about what you want. Do this with all the sensory details, imagining how it will feel, taste, smell, look, and sound to achieve those goals. The more you do this, the more motivation and energy you will find to make these goals happen and the more naturally they will seem to be drawn into your life.